I feel like I need to cry.  I'm not realy sure why. I just don't know what's going on.  I've been extremely emotional lately.  I mean I'm always a emotional guy, it's just that lately I got all sorts of feeling rushing within me and i don't know what to do so I generally just do nothing and it just makes me.I don't know. tried? confused? it's tough. 

I don't really know what to do with summer.  I mean it's awesome not to go to school now, but it's like that's what I've been doing for 9 months.  I've gotta find something to invest in but it's gotta be worth it and I'm finding a lot of things I once thought were worth my time are well pretty worthless.  I 'm sure I'll figure it all out and find something to fill the time with.  I really just love being with my close friends.  Just to be while they be around me is so awesome. 

Phil's leaving pretty dang soon.  I don't think it's really hit me yet.  I don't think I'll really get it until the middle of June when I haven't seen him for a couple weeks and I wanna go be with him and I just can't.  That's when I'll call on people like Blair and Suzy (who I just absolutely love; if you don't know them both as best you possibly can then you got work to do now!).  It is really awesome that even though phil's leaving, I will so not be lonely cause I got so many awesome awesome awesome friends.  But still I will miss him so so so so so much.  We have a relationship like no other.  Nobody else knows him I like I do and I don't think he knows anybody else like he knows me.  He wants to go into the theater business and he'd be really good at it but I swear I am getting that kid to Africa somehow.  If it takes lying about a local Rwandan strongman competition to get him out there then I just have to lie.  I have a feeling we'll spend a lot of time with each other later in life.  Cause we both would like to live together at some point in the future.  That'd just be so very very awesome.  I love him.

Heather Long can sure write some insanely good worship music.  Once that CD hits the racks, buy yourself a copy and just listen to "You" and "A Voice from the Heavens."  If you're in the right mood, they'll make you cry they're so good.  I'm sad she's leaving too.  I'll sure miss all these people.  But seeing that i plan on leaving in one year I guess this is just warm up for me leaving everybody for college.  One thing I know:  Lauren Breakfield's gonna be here for a while and that's a very good thing for us children of Conway.

Keep you love loud.  I mean if you're gonna love God or anybody else for that matter, let it flow.  Be there for people as God leads you.  One thing I've learned in 2005 is that God send people to be comfortig for you and he sends you to be comfort for others.  And it's really awesome both ways. 

Pray people, cause there ain't nothing else like it,

Philip   

Currently Playing Lime CD By David Crowder see related

When I went to Mexico in 2002 when I was in 7th grade I met a kid named Jose.  He was probably 10 at that time which would make him 13 now.  I love him.  I could barely talk to him cause he didn't speak much english but it didn't really matter.  I really hope that somehow I get to see him again before I die.  It makes me so happy I cry to think that because I and others went to Mexico for one week during two summers that 5 families get up in the middle of the night in the pouring rain and they don't walk in water and they don't feel water on their head; rather they hear the pitter patter of rain on their roof that God sent us to build.  Even more than that, several of them will stand before God in judgement one day and travel to heaven because we were used by God.  I think I am going to do overseas ministry with my life, because anything else I would do really just seems wasteful compared to the oppurtunity there is to have God tell you which of the 5000 unreached ethnic groups he wants you to take his name to.  After listening to John Zumwalt speak a week or two ago and just hearing about all these times he's seen God work overseas in ministry and stuff like that I just know that I want to see God work like that and the best chance at seeing it is to go reach people who have never heard of the one that gives me the comfort given by nothing else.  That his glory may increase and that I may experience it; I would love that.  Paul once said "And thus I aspire to preach the gospel, not where Christ was already named so that I would not build on another man's foundation."  I guess that's what I wanna do.

Philip 
      

Currently Playing Space Jam: Music From And Inspired By The Motion Picture By Various Artists see related

Life....It just keeps going on and on and on.  It seems like it will never end.  And it won't except for on the earth.  I can't wait until it ends on earth.  I really can't wait until heaven.  But God's got things for me to do here.

I've been thinking lately...thinking that we should answer questions with actions.  Like when you're asked if you love God.  Of course you're going to say yes.  But do you live like you love him.  So do you really love him or what.  I don't know.  That kinda confuses me.  I mean if I answer the "do you love him" question with my actions than I'd have to say no, I don't love him.  So does that mean I don't love him?  I dunno.  You guys can comment and discuss if you'd like.  Just thought I'd spill really quick.

Pete

Currently Watching Backstreet Boys - Homecoming: Live in Orlando see related

Everybody seems to be doin it so I guess I'll join in.  If you wanna, comment as many memories that you have of me.  I'd greatly appreciate remembering times with the people I love.   If not then, well, go snort some chili powder why dontcha.

Phila